I'd like to make note of the fact that i am an r-tard

I badly need to go to the doctor.

My period is almost a month late.....I'm starting to get pretty fucking scared.
Honestly if I am well, you know, I will try my best not to have the child. Not for the reasons that i'm selfish and don't want one or blahblahblah  but it would be far more humane for me to not bring a child into my disfunctional world. I would not be able to take care of it, I would not want to bring them in to a life where they don't have a dad. If I can not bring a kid into a world and raise it properly I would not fuck it over by bringing it in anyways.
Plus with how I've been consuming alchol up until latly, if I was prego that kid is likly to have issues and that is something i'd never forgive myself for.
I really hope I'm not.
I mean I don't think I am but still.
The taletale signs are usually increased apetite, change in foods(body starts craving items that contain nutirents your lacking and makes you sick when you try to injest harmful foods), morning sickness, pain when clothing around waist is too tight, harden lower stomach, etc.
I am not having any of these so i'm going to say that I am fine and its just some weird shit going on with stress levels and being off of my pills. still its scary for these thoughts to have popped in my head and from now on I will be much more carful about how I live. To have sat down and thought,. hrmmm if I am how would I tell the other person involved?

In other news my body has many other problems going on. I am so ridiculuasly unhealthy. hahahahha i apparently don't look like I've gained weight but I feel like I have. my insides just arent working right and the only time I've found that I have use the restroom is when I've been drinking. o_o fucking sucks.

Watch I will get health insurance and become the most healthy person in the world and never have any problems. I will literally sign the paper work and everything will fix its self. ahahhhhaha